More I Hate IU and ND Jokes

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What Does POTFH stand for you ask?
It stands for:

Decision tree on how to be a Notre Dame Fan
ND Locker Room Picture IU Sucks  ND Sucks Too Road Sign
IU ND Jacket IU
IU Bowl search via Google Joke
(sung to the tune of Bud Lights Great American Hero tune)
Bud Light Salutes the Blue and Gold

Announcer: Today we salute you, Mr. Delusional, Irrational Notre Dame football Fan....

Announcer: Season after season, year after year, you try to justify
your absurdly high pre-season ranking. Backup singer: Why aren't we number one??

Announcer: You scramble to make futile attempts at damage control when
the Irish lose to yet another grossly inferior opponent.
Backup singer: Charlie's headset was broken!

Announcer: Inevitably, you'll bring up the past, and boast of
championships won 20 years before you were born. Backup singer: We wore leather helmets!!

Announcer: You will point out that you have more heisman winners than any other program, as though that is relevant to the current season.
Backup singer: Been playing since the 1880ssssss!

Announcer: Go on, ignore that home loss to Boston College in the regular season for the 6th consecutive time in a row...
Backup singer: BC has better Christians!!

Announcer: And continue to believe that you'll actually win a bowl game some time this century.
Backup singer: We're O for the 2000's!!!

Announcer: So crack open an ice cold Bud Light, oh Emperor of Excuses, and take comfort knowing that when you don't finish in the top 25, you'll be back to number three when the pre-season polls come out next year.
Backup singer: Mr. Delusional, Irrational and Hopelessly Pathetic Irish Fannnnnnn!

Far Side Cartoon adapted to Bloomington/IU

IU coach Terry Hoeppner stops by Ross-Ade stadium to visit Joe Tiller one day during a Boiler practice. He politely tells Coach Tiller that his players sure look like very gifted athletes. Tiller responds that they are not only good athletes but are really smart young men. Tiller then yells for Dorien Bryant to come over and meet Hoeppner. "Dorien", says Tiller. I want to ask you a question? "Who is your Mom's brother's nephew?" Dorien pauses for a moment and says astutely, "the answer is me, Dorien Bryant." Good answer, says Tiller, and then sends Dorien back to practice. Hoeppner is impressed and wonders if his players are as bright to figure out the same riddle. Next day at IU practice, he calls Kellen Lewis over and asks Lewis who his Mom's brother's nephew is? He thinks about it and says "I'll be back with the answer soon coach." Lewis runs to the end of the field and asks James Hardy the same riddle. After a few minutes the talented end says that the answer is him, "James Hardy." Lewis immediately runs back to Hoeppner and replies that he knows the answer, "it's James Hardy!" Hoeppner drops his head in dismay then looks back up and says, no son, it's "Dorien Bryant."

How can you tell when the Hoosiers are going to run the football? The running back leaves the huddle with tears in his eyes.

**************************************************************************** What do the Hoosiers and possums have in common? Both play dead at home and get killed on the road!


It's been reported that the Indiana football team is unable to obtain a team website. The reason - they are unable to put three w's in a row.


Classes for the semester are over, it's just before the start of the Big 10 basketball season, and the Purdue team invites IU to go ice fishing. They all drive north to a frozen river, pull out their poles, and hunker down, waiting to catch some fish. It isn't too long before the Purdue players are catching fish left and right. The IU players look on in consternation, because they haven't gotten a nibble all day. Finally, their coach sends a player over to scout out how Purdue's players are catching so many fish. He comes back and reports, "Coach, they've got holes in the ice!''


Bloomington (IN) -- IU football practice was delayed nearly two hours today after a player reported finding an unknown white powdery substance on the practice field. Head coach Terry Hoeppner immediately suspended practice while police and federal investigators were called to investigate. After a complete analysis, FBI forensic experts determined that the white substance unknown to players was the goal line. Practice was resumed after special agents decided the team was unlikely to encounter the substance again


Why doesn't Memorial Stadium at IU have a grass field? They don't want the cheerleaders grazing at halftime.


Why IU and Purdue grads should marry: One has an IU diploma, and the other can read it to them.


Last May after graduating, two IU grads packed all their belongings in a pick-up truck and headed home. They stopped when they got to an overpass that said 'Clearance 8' 6".' Their truck was piled up to nine feet high. They got out and looked around. One turned to the other and said, "I don't see any cops, let's go for it."


A new IU grad had just taken a co-op position with a major utility company. As a rookie he was assigned the job of measuring electric poles as they were taken off the delivery trucks. The supervisor told him, "We need to know how high these poles are."
About an hour later the supervisor noticed the IU grad going through a procedure of trying to stand the pole up and at the same time trying to climb to the top with a tape measure. The supervisor inquired as to what the IU grad was doing, to which he replied, "I'm trying to measure this pole."
The supervisor asked, "Why don't you just lay it down and measure it?" The IU grad replied, "Make up your mind. Do you want to know how high it is or how long it is?"


What is the difference between an IU fan and a puppy? A puppy stops whining after about six months.


What do you do when you breed an iu player with a ground hog? Six more weeks of bad football.


What's the most important statement ever made by a Purdue grad? "That's one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind." What's the most important statement ever made by an IU grad? "You want fries with that?"


What does and IU student and a Purdue student have in common? They both were accepted to IU.

Two IU Alums walk in to a bar, the Purdue Alum ducked.

A Purdue fan in a wheelchair entered a restaurant one afternoon and asked the waitress for a cup of coffee. The Boilermaker fan looked across the restaurant and asked, "Is that Jesus sitting over there?"

The waitress nodded "yes," so the Purdue fan told her to give Jesus a cup of coffee on him.

The next patron to come in was a Notre Dame with a hunched back (of course). He shuffled over to a booth, painfully sat down, and asked the Waitress for a cup of hot tea. He also glanced across the restaurant and asked, "Is that Jesus over there?" The waitress nodded, so the Irish fan said to give Jesus a cup of hot tea, "My treat."

The third patron to come into the restaurant was a Hoosier fan on crutches. He hobbled over to a booth, sat down and hollered, "Hey there, sweet thang. How's about gettin' me a cold glass of Coke!!" He too looked across the restaurant and asked, "Is that Jesus over there?"

The waitress once more nodded, so the Hoosier fan said to give Jesus a cold glass of Coke, "On my bill."

As Jesus got up to leave, he passed by the Purdue fan, touched him and said, "For your kindness, you are healed." The Purdue fan felt the strength come back into his legs, got up, and danced a jig out the door.

Jesus also passed by the ND fan, touched him and said, "For your kindness, you are healed." The Irish fan felt his back straightening up, and he raised his hands, praised the Lord and did a series of back flips out the door.

Then Jesus walked towards the Hoosier fan. The IU fan jumped up and yelled, "Don't touch me, I'm drawing disability!"


A Purdue fan used to amuse himself by scaring every IU fan he saw strutting down the street in the obnoxious cream and crimson colors. He would swerve his van as if to hit them, and swerve back just missing them.

One day while driving along, he saw a priest. He thought he would do a good deed, and he pulled over and asked the priest, "Where are you going Father?"

"I'm going to say mass at St. Tom's church, about 2 miles down the road," replied the priest. "Climb in, Father! I'll give you a lift!" The priest climbed into the passenger seat, and they continued down the road. Suddenly, the driver saw an IU fan walking down the road, and he instinctively swerved as if to hit him. But, as usual, he swerved back onto the road just in time. Even though he was certain that he had missed the guy, he still heard a loud THUD.

Not understanding where the noise came from, he glanced in his mirrors, but didn't see anything. He then remembered the priest, and he turned to the priest and said, "I'm sorry Father, I almost hit that IU fan".

"That's OK," replied the priest, "I got him with the door."


I was driving through Bloomington and was pulled over for speeding. Instead of getting a fine I was given two tickets to an IU football game.

I had two tickets to an IU game that I didn't want so I put them on my windshield hoping that someone would take them. When I got back I had four tickets on my windshield.

Why is Memorial Stadium the safest place to be during a tornado? There's never been a touchdown there.


Why don't they serve Kool Aid at IU? They couldn't get two quarts of water in those little envelopes.

What do the Hoosiers and possums have in common? Both play dead at home and get killed on the road!

Why Purdue? I tested out of IU.



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